Sleep comes late, usually some time after midnight. Then the world intrudes again at three or four. The pain wakes you up and you lie under its weight, with enough room to shake. You struggle to keep the crying down under the threshold because if it gets out it will blaze through you and leave nothing sane. It will become a mania that can't be stopped, you will end the night screaming and clawing your skin. You lie still, hoping the pain will leave you alone if you do nothing to draw its attention.
You remember to pray, but the only prayer you can think of is to beg to be released. Suicide is not allowed, but you can pray for death.
You can ask, can't you?
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